So, 2014 then

I’ve started to write my reflections on 2013 and hopes/dreams/aspirations for 2014 several times in my head, but they’ve sounded naff, and hence I’ve been avoiding turning on the laptop.  Not entirely helpful towards my resolution of writing more in 2014.  Generally I’m fairly accepting of the bad times along with the good, but for once, I was really rather pleased as the clock struck midnight on the 31st.  It hadn’t been a dreadful year, I have several close friends for whom 2013 has been a lot worse, serving to put things somewhat in perspective, but it certainly hasn’t been a good one.

There have been upsides, getting Heralie, summer sunshine, several holidays, and some really hard times, Murphy being put down, nearly losing Abi, and many days where there seemed to have been no improvement in my health for months on end.  2013 seems to have been typified by the weather in the last few weeks, fairly unpleasant, and the wind and rain making everything seem hard work; in general a bit of a grind.

In the two years plus that I’ve been ill, I’ve had to learn that setting objectives , creating goals doesn’t really work.  As much as I’d love to say, I want to be riding/walking/driving for X minutes in so many months’ time, it’s impossible to say whether this is achievable.  Progress is not a reliably straight line affair, and it’s pace is unpredictable.  As I’ve written before, forcing the issue is more harmful than helpful.

So no New Year’s resolutions then?  Well, more hopes than anything.  That I’ll have the mental energy to write more, giving me something to focus on in the long days at home on my own.  That I’ll be able to relax more about my weight.  I’ve really enjoyed cooking in the run up to, and over Christmas, and we have a foodie holiday to look forward to in February.  I love my grub, and maybe being a size larger, and a stone heavier than I used to be, and would like (although still smaller than national average as I keep trying to tell myself) is the price I pay for that.  Probably easier said than done though as each Monday morning (my weekly weigh in on the wii fit) rolls around.  The fact that my weight gain is medication induced and therefore largely out of my control makes it harder to accept, not helped by large amounts of leftover Christmas treats I’m sure!

What else then?  As usual, reading more, learning more, making my days at home feel constructive, a gift of time to myself, without wearing myself out.  And for fear of sounding incredibly cheesy, some positive things to come for all the friends and family around me that I love so much.